steven's Journal

So I have learned alot the last couple of days. but at the same time I already knew it all. I wanted to say sorry to all of my friends that I put behind me for a while. I never ment to forget about you.
I'm exicited about the life a head of me. Being forced to part from Liz has been one of the most brutal things in my life. I never thought I would attach myself to a single person like that. I'm happy I did. I'm excited that I get to start over again. Hopefully things can progress instead of being stagnent.
fuck fear, fuck hate, fuck jealousy.

what
you fucking liars

bring it down
so i don't write in this anymore because there is no point.

hell week
This weekend was the worst weekend of my life. I let everything precious to me go. I messed up and I can't fix it. I never knew that my own insecurities would effect somebody so much. I only wish I could go back and fix what I have broken. I'm torn between falling flat on my face and wishing I was dead and proving that I am a person worth being with.

Current Mood: determined

drama
I love all the drama lately. it's makes me laugh. I don't understand why everybody is so fucked. I think the best of all of you. except shane. fuck you. haha.
I love summer time. I'm so happy that I no longer am going to freeze my balls off. I hate freezing to death.

this means war
A pen is stronger then any sword.

Current Mood: ready

Last month of school and I am so fucking happy. I can't stand school anymore. It drives me crazy. All this rain lately has really screwed my teatherball game over but I like the rain. Hopefully it will rain pretty good for the rest of the month.
There is a Death by Stereo show tonight. I want to go but I don't think I'm going to. I owe my parents a lot of money so I'm broke. fuck.
Parallax tomorrow. nice.

Current Music: the mother fucking crew

singing in the rain
It rained so much last night. It was crazy. Liz parked her car in a puddle that was like 8 inches deep and I had to walk through it so that I could get her car.
There is a show tonight and I'm excited to see what the lax will sound like with 2 guitarist.

Current Mood: tired

Spring Break
So I'm about ready to leave. I'm going to St. George for spring break. It's always nice to go to St. George. I don't do much. just sit around have fun. It sucks though because I have to leave Liz home.

Current Mood: sad
Current Music: Jurassic 5

I hate the crazy weather in Utah. It has been so nice and warm and then this morning my mom told me that it is going to be snowing and shit in a couple of days. I don't want it to be cold anymore.

So I fucking missed the dinner at Blake's house again. I feel like such a dick. I want to go but that is normally the only day I have to hang out with my family and stuff. My family is pretty cool so I like to hang out with them. I will make it one of these days. Maybe if Blake wasn't such a dick.

Shane and I played some teatherball and we dedicated it to shaun.

Current Mood: hopeful
Current Music: adverse

fuck school
I hate school. because I'm such a lazy ass I'm probably not going to graduate. whatever. I don't even care anymore. I want to graduate just to be done but i'm sick of school all together. I hate it. The only reason I go to school anymore is to see my girlfriend, who happens to be angry at me. oh well. i'm tying

I hope it warms up alot so that we can go rock some teatherball. I got some new gloves that will keep our hands from getting destroyed by the harsh conditions.

Shane's new car is the dumbest thing I have ever seen. It is his old car but in a girl version. It makes me laugh. Actually it's pretty cool and it is going to be the mission mobile. may it have longevity.

Current Mood: confused
Current Music: sky came falling

fuck the flu
So I think I'm getting the flu. Here I am trying to at least to maintain my body weight since the whole vegan thing, and all i can do is throw up. FUCK!!

The show the other night was so much fun. Gunner was fucking amazing. That was the first time I have seen him or anything associated with the numbs in a very long time. I need to get some of their shit to listen too. I haven't listened to them since like 8th or 9th grade. It felt so good to rock out with shane too. We never get to hang out anymore and it sucks. I hate it.

I have to throw up

Current Mood: sick
Current Music: adverse

fuck school
I hate school with all my heart. It drives me crazy sitting in some stupid ass class all day. I always leave school feeling like I just wasted half of my day. I don't even know why I'm trying to graduate. I really don't care.

fuck the crew

he's a big boy now
fuck!!!!!!shane is a big boy now. now he could go to jail for having sex with me. that's horrible. It makes me want to cry.

Current Mood: crushed

This week has sucked so far. It has been cool just because I started a pretty cool job but it sucks because I haven't done shit besides work and hang out with liz. Hanging out with liz is great though. except when my dad is home. (wink to shane). I want to go rock some shit with shane but it never works out. I wish It would stop snowing and that some yards would feel up. but whatever. fuck shane.

I hate school so much. everyday I just sit there and don't do anything and I still get good grades. I hate it. It is so damn boring. and now the school district is trying to force students to do the pledge of alegiance and shit so everyday I have to battle with my teachers because I won't do that shit. fuck

I miss shane
I hate school
I want some rice king

Current Mood: disappointed

foiled plans
I feel out of the loop. Maybe cause I don't do shit anymore. The only dick who calls me anymore is shane. and he only calls me at fucking midnight. Yeah I'm sick as fuck and it won't go away. It's really starting to bug me. I'm sick of wanting to throw up in the garbage cans at school.

My dad didn't go to work today so he is at home because he has a bad headache. He foiled my plans to spend some "us" time with liz. fuck.

I start my new job today. I'm way excited because I work with way cool guys, but the thought of being at work everyday sucks. I will make good money though.

Current Mood: rejected

So last night we drove to salt lake just to be called and told that the show got cancelled because lucky is a fuck. it wasn't that big of a deal though. instead we just went to the rice king and then went to jeff's house and watched cannible the musical. it was pretty stupid but it had some pretty funny parts.

Yeah so my girlfriends is to cool for me. well maybe not to cool but to busy. she always has some shit to do and then is gone forever. fuck it. Nobody has time to do anything anymore. I have had a week off of work because of changing jobs so I have had all sorts of time. all I want to do is sleep though.

Current Mood: lonely
Current Music: unearth

let it snow
It's snowing it's ass off outside. I love snow. I hate the cold and it taking 30 minutes to get to school but I love the snow. There is something very peaceful about looking outside and seeing a foot of snow and it's still coming down. I like it alot. It's beautiful. but on the other hand it sucks. It completely kills the teatherball action and you really can't do much in it. so that sucks. but I like it.

where is the ninja? I have tried to call him like 30 times the last week. fuck!

I read e-rocks journal and I completely agree with what he says about everybody being all crazy depressed. It sucks. we all just need to hop a train to canada. I'm down.

Current Mood: energetic
Current Music: the sound of my teacher bitching at me.

pussy
I feel like the biggest pussy lately. I haven't done shit with the dp and other shit. I need to help everybody get down. I could do so much more. lately I've been the crew bitch. It sucks. I have worked everyday untill 10 this week though so i guess that's not really my fault.

Shane's car died and it makes me sad. Maybe he should find a good mechanic to work on it. (wink)

Hopefully Shane, Misty, and I will go play on saturday night. that is the plan as of now. we will see.

farmer joe.....hahahahahahahahahaha

Current Mood: guilty
Current Music: hope conspiracy

where is shane?
So my never ending search to hang out with shane begins. this is my everyday occurence, at about 1:00 p.m. I can never find his bitch ass.

So we got some teatherball action down and it was pretty nice. It felt good to slam that little bastard around. hahahaha farmer joe.

Current Mood: amused
Current Music: converge

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